Privacy Notice

In researching the clearest, simplest, most readable GDPR-compliant privacy policy out there, I came across this brilliant one - “With thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.”

Despite the kerfuffle GDPR has caused for businesses and entrepreneurs (like me), I do appreciate that it's ultimately there to protect the privacy of consumers (like me). Minor edits have been made to the Writers’ HQ Privacy Policy to reflect me and my business. Enjoy!

 

Wow has anyone ever read one of these?

I have to have one of these dealios to explain how I comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations) because God knows there’s not enough actual interesting things in the world to read, you need to read 1,000 words of legalese nonsense that makes literally not one bit of difference to anyone, ever.

The best bit about the GDPR is that all this has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so hold on to your hats, this is going to be the shortest, clearest and best freakin’ privacy policy you ever did see.

So. Here we go…

 

TLDR

As a busy work-from-home-mum of two, I don’t have the time or energy to do anything nefarious with your data, and am too tired to think up a malevolent plot to steal your identity.

I collect and store the info I need to provide you with the service you buy from me. In the future, I may occasionally stalk you via Facebook adverts. That’s really it.

 

COOKIES

Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes we use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want our delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to me when nothing does what it’s supposed to.

 

STALKY VISITOR TRACKING

I use Google Analytics, mainly for the pleasure (and relief!) it gives me to know that people are actually visiting my website, but also to see what stuff people are looking at so I can provide more of the stuff you like.

Google Analytics doesn't store any super personal data about you but probably they nab your IP address, not that I’d know where to look for it or what to do with it. All I see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with me by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing our stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time LIKE DREAMING UP A BEAUTIFUL NEW WEBSITE.

 

data storage  

DATA!! It’s all about the data, baby. A gazillion petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. I store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?

Here on this website! If you contact me through this site, I will store your name, email address and message so that I can actually get back to you and be of service. Squarespace is (allegedly) GDPR compliant. 

17hats! This is the system I use to send you contracts, invoices and questionnaires if you hire me. It helps this busy mama stay on top of adminy-stuff, and keeps things nice and organised for us. Your name and email will be stored in the system so that I can send you such documents. 17Hats are (allegedly) GDPR compliant. 

Mailchimp! I have grand plans for starting a mailing list, creating freebies, offering an online courses etc. But for now, delivering brilliant client work and raising babies are all I can handle. When I do get round to #allthethings, if you’ve signed up for anything or bought anything on my site, your name and email address also wangs its way over to Mailchimp, which is the system I'll use to manage my newsletters and emails. They are (allegedly) GDPR compliant.

Mailchimp automatically adds tracking things to links so if you click on a link I'LL KNOW. If you open an email I'LL KNOW. The most important thing about this is I have neither the time nor inclination to actually look at or do anything with these stats.

I'll be lucky if I manage to write even a couple newsletters a month, but if the content or frequency is not your cup of tea, you can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button.

What I WON'T do is sneakily add your email to my mailing list, just because you got in touch or signed up for, say, a freebie or a course. That goes against my terribly polite British nature, and is a big GDPR no-no.

 

YOUR PAYMENT DETAILS

When you pay an invoice, you will pay through Stripe, which is (allegedly) GDPR compliant. The only payment-based details we hold is how much you’ve spent. We have no bank or card details or nada here. 

 

YOUR RIGHT TO BE DELETED

If you want to go undercover, just send me an email at christina@zeonicreations.com and I’ll delete all the info I have on you from my systems. This does not include Stripe. If you want to delete your Stripe accounts you have to do that yourself via Stripe. I cannot delete your purchase history because the taxman will be terribly upset.